In love with you

Written by Clare Dimond

January 24, 2019

Shakespeare, Byron, Baudelaire could search the furthest corners of language and still not find the poetry to convey who you are. Nothing can come close to describing you. No words, no music, no painting, no sculpture can bring you to life. All falls short. You are beyond words. Unique, unmatchable, unquantifiable. The indefinable essence of you. Only you.

The miracle of you.

And I can’t see it. I can’t see you because I look at you and all I can see is what I need. I need you to love me. I need you to reassure me. I need you to be different. I need you to be how I think you should be.

I look at you and I believe I see you but all I see is my insecurity and need disguising itself as you. I think it is you. This projection of my worst fears looks like you. I shout and rail against this mirror. And I see nothing.

And perhaps that is the whole purpose of my life. Maybe this is the reason I am here. To see myself so clearly that in return I receive the miracle gift of you. To see through those fears and wants, to see through them to the simple witness that I am.

A simple witness of what is. That is all I am.

I see me for what I am and so finally I can see you. And the more I see, the deeper in love I fall. Falling through the layers of belief that once looked true, deeper and deeper to the only place that makes any sense.

My eyes for the first time are open. My vision widens to capture every detail of your being. My ears for the first time are tuning to every nuance of your voice. My touch begins to sense the vibrant life of you.

Without question I am in love with you. Impossible to imagine anything other.

And now I need nothing. The witness that I am places no burden on your shoulders. No condition on your being. There is nothing you have to be for me. You don’t need to see me or love me. That has nothing to do with it.

The openness brings you freely into existence. It is the stage in which your magnificence plays out.

I see me and then I can see you.
That is my reward.
To know I am the space in which you appear.
To know that all I am is in love with you

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