As we dig deep into what is actually true it becomes clear that nothing is objective. There is nothing that is independent or separate from the observer. Everything that looks real and fixed is only always 100% subjective. A function of observation. Nothing more and...
There is a technique, invented by Richard Bandler, to put people into deep trance instantly. The therapist reaches out to shake the client’s hand. The client, as we all would, automatically reaches out to shake the therapist’s hand and then, in the split second before...
The end of blame (adapted from SANE: getting real with reality) Self-control. Will power. Determination. Commitment. Dedication. Restraint. Mind over matter. All ways of describing the power that this apparent self of ours has or should have over what this body does...
When something goes right for us… ‘I have a new client.’ ‘I’ve been asked out.’ ‘They want to publish my book.’ ‘I’ve been invited to the party.’ ‘I’ve been promoted.’ ‘1000 likes of my video.’ ‘My child came top of the class.’ ‘My team won.’ …it’s interesting to...
I was on a non-duality retreat and the teacher began by standing up and saying “There is no point in your being here……It doesn’t matter if you come to any of the talks. There is nothing whatsoever to be gained. You might as well be outside in the gardens or in your...
The mind does funny things with this wholeness concept. It can hammer it into a shield for protection and a sword to ward away anyone who might come close. Because there is nothing more terrifying than relationships when the lack deep inside us has not healed. When we...
You might have heard of the ‘marshmallow experiment’. The one where researchers give children a marshmallow. The children are told they can eat their marshmallow now or if they can wait until the researcher returns to the room, they will be rewarded with two...
Some of my clients say that they feel like a fraud. That they show up to work and fear that at any moment people will see through the capable and competent persona they present and expose the ‘real’ person beneath. They will be revealed for the person they believe...
My children and I spend far too much time holding our cats up to a mirror trying to get a spark of ‘Look! There I am!’ from them. We’d even settle for ‘Look! Another cat like me!’ but so far nada. The famous mirror tests are telling us that we would need to hold up an...
The return to school was the hardest. I didn’t know how to be with people again and people didn’t know how to be with me. My teacher, a stern ex-army sergeant, made no reference to where I’d been. In the playground, a friend asked me ‘Are you happy?’ I replied yes and...