The end of blame

Written by Clare Dimond

November 23, 2021

The end of blame

(adapted from SANE: getting real with reality)

Self-control. Will power. Determination. Commitment. Dedication. Restraint. Mind over matter.

All ways of describing the power that this apparent self of ours has or should have over what this body does or does not do.

It looks like this control is not just possible, but necessary for every aspect of life for all behaviour.

And all of this seems to be managed and controlled by this self right here.

It is all on the shoulders of the self. All of it.

But let’s get very still here.

Who or what is controlling the reading that is happening now? Who dictated that the eyes would follow the words or gaze off in the distance for a moment and then return to look at the screen or page again? What is translating black shapes into words and meaning appearing in an inner space. What is creating understanding of those words? What is reflecting on those words?

The self would say, ’Me Me Me. I am doing all this’. But is it really the self doing that? Or is reading just happening? Understanding just happening?

If we asked the self ‘How are you doing that? How are you reading? How are you making meaning arise from those apparent words? How do you distinguish whether a word is spelt right or wrong? How does an image arise? How do the words create feelings?’ there could be no answer.

‘How are you doing all that?’ No answer.

And as it is with reading so it is with writing, speaking, listening, cooking, walking, singing, typing, dancing, jumping, catching, swimming, loving, breathing, digesting, healing, choosing, deciding, going to sleep, waking up… Everything.

The self doesn’t know how these things happen. Because in reality, there is no self doing them. These things are happening. Just as the idea of self is happening. They are happening because they have been programmed in. Just as the idea of self is happening because it has been programmed in.

And again, this is an enormous shift. It leads to the realisation that behaviour is essentially the outcome of the software, the automatic response according to what has been learned and acquired.

If it is not the self that decides what happens, then what does? Where does change come from?

It starts by getting real. It starts by acknowledgement that behaviour is the perfect expression of the system. It can’t be any other way. Behaviour comes from the operating system in place. Trying to change the behaviour without a shift in the operating system is a waste of time. In fact, why would we, when the behaviour is such a perfect signal of a system that is thriving or not? It is like taking drugs to dull the pain caused by standing on hot coals. The pain is there for a reason.

The only place to begin is with the operating system. With what it is running on. What is believed? What is understood? What concepts are running the show? Where is the system not receiving the loving attention in which all systems thrive? Where is it trying to adapt to an environment for which it is not designed?

Let’s leave the behaviour 100% alone. Let’s stop trying to change habits, addictions and patterns. Let’s stop beating ourselves and others up with blame and control.

Permanent change can only come from a different operating system.

And change comes only when the behaviour is no longer compatible with the new understanding. With a new platform in place, old patterns, beliefs and habits automatically disappear.

The self is not making the change. There is no self doing anything ever.

The new understanding of who we are creates automatic alignment. Behaviour is no longer driven by the insanity of separation, desperation and insecurity.

Instead, the sanity of integrity, wholeness and ease starts to run the show.

It is the end of blame.





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